Developing the Grit to Lead
As law students, we’ve all experienced it: the gut-wrenching paralysis of a cold call.
Brilliant answers we had just a moment ago are suddenly lost, and we freeze. As lawyers, we may experience that sensation in a high-pressure negotiation. As female lawyers, we might sometimes feel the strain of being the only woman in the room.
For all of us, Noni Ellison Southall, JD/MBA '97, Associate General Counsel for Finance and Assistant Corporate Secretary at W.W. Grainger, Inc., has some advice: breathe.
“Before you react to situations, you have to step back and take a breath,” said Southall, one of more than a dozen speakers at the Law School’s second-annual Law Women’s Leadership Summit last month. The day-long event, sponsored by the Office of the Dean of Students and organized by Associate Director of Student Affairs and Programs Courtney Wylie, was designed to offer insight into the skills and attitudes that will help us find success as women in the legal profession. The day was also made possible due to generous contributions from Sidley Austin LLP, Schiff Hardin LLP, Foley & Lardner LLP, the Women’s Bar Association of Illinois, the American Bar Association Commission on Women, and the Women’s Leadership Mentoring Alliance.
“Leadership training for lawyers and women’s leadership are huge issues,” said Peter B. Bensinger, Jr., a partner at Bartlit Beck Herman Palenchar & Scott LLP who spoke at the summit. “There is no leadership management training curriculum at law school historically, but it is exactly what clients are demanding, both in the commercial side and the not-for-profit side, so it’s really visionary for the Law School to invest in this kind of program, and I have no doubt that it’s going to bear fruit down the road.”
According to Dean of Students Amy M. Gardner, it isn’t just clients who are demanding this type of program; it’s students.
“I had no idea how our first women’s leadership summit would be received, and whether there would be continued interest,” Gardner said. “But when I read student feedback last year and saw comments like, ‘The women’s network at UChicago is powerful and will only continue to grow through our participation,’ and ‘Law school has taken away some of my mojo. This weekend helped me get some of it back,’ I knew that we needed to do the summit again.”
Many of us were drawn to the event by the chance to network, but we were also intrigued to learn tools to help us with the hurdles ahead.
“We have a lot of incredibly impressive alums that I would just like to meet and get to know,” said Elisabeth “Bette” Muirhead, ’16. “I really want to learn from these people who have done amazing things.”
"And,” she added, “I’m actually kind of curious about this ‘grit’ thing.”
Defined by University of Pennsylvania psychologist Angela Duckworth as “perseverance and passion for long-term goals,” grit is often cited by accomplished female attorneys as key to their success. A study by Sullivan & Cromwell LLP recruiting director Milana Hogan, who surveyed and interviewed 477 female lawyers in AmLaw 200 firms, indicates that grit is, in fact, a precursor to success for women in BigLaw—not a result of it.
But where do you get grit? How do you hone it? Throughout the day, the speakers shared stories and secrets to help us get to the bottom of “this ‘grit’ thing.”
Robin Ross, executive director of the Law School’s Doctoroff Business Leadership Program, gave us an in-depth look at “the foundation for developing grit and resilience”: emotional intelligence. And she, too, talked about the power of pausing to breathe in stressful situations.
“Taking a slow, deep breath helps your body calm down and buys you time you need to respond thoughtfully to the situation,” she explained. Though the amygdala, which is the seat of emotions, responds in a millisecond, it takes between three and five seconds for the brain to consciously assess whether the danger is real.
Ross knows the power of breath not only from science, but also from personal experience. When her lung partially collapsed due to chronic stress, she was forced to consciously focus on her breathing to heal from surgery, which helped her learn to use the power of breath to help manage emotions and stress.
It was a common theme underscored by several speakers: learn to choose rather than react.
During a panel on female leadership, Sidley Austin LLP Partner Kristen R. Seeger, ’02, put it this way: “Never make a big decision on a bad day,” she said.
And Southall further echoed the point with a personal anecdote. She recounted a time earlier in her career when she chose to join a law firm practice group composed entirely of men, all of whom played golf together outside of the office in a club that didn’t allow women.
Southall decided to pick her battles. “I was strategic in how I went about raising certain issues, so that I would not stop being invited to the table,” she said. Over time, as she built relationships with stakeholders inside and outside of the group, Southall was able to bring more women onto the team. Ultimately, she created an environment that was more comfortable for women who followed in her footsteps.
Of course, no matter how much we breathe, we will struggle sometimes, speakers told us. Several described “meltdowns” they’ve had when they’ve blamed themselves for letting down one of the many colleagues, clients, friends, and family members depending on them.
“We are so hard on ourselves,” said Sharon Fairley, ’06, Chief Administrator of the Independent Police Review Authority. “Things are going to fall through the cracks. You just have to do the best that you can. Ask for help. Don’t try to do it all. Be kind to yourself.”
Jennifer Otten, an LLM student from Germany, told me how grateful she was for the speakers’ candor.
“I truly appreciated the honest conversations,” Otten said. “They didn’t hesitate to talk about the personal problems that often people are hesitant to discuss.”
Chinwe “Chi Chi” Chukwuogo, ’18, said it was comforting to be around attorneys “so supportive and so excited to give us advice and tell us about their path.”
I felt the same way. Shuttling back to Hyde Park after a day of making meaningful connections—both internally and with other women—I thought about how I would carry forward what I’d learned. I considered what it would take for me to maintain grit—to persevere with passion through my career. I remembered something Seeger said: “It is very much a marathon.”
Luckily, we aren’t the first to the race. “You are entering the legal profession at the most exciting time for women,” Seeger said in her closing remarks. “People are already talking about these things. So many have come before you who want to see you succeed.”
And, she added: “If you’re the only woman in the room, that doesn’t mean you don’t belong. That room needs you.”